


Welcome to Hell.. Gravity falls

by FrozenDemon



Category: Gravity Falls, Welcome to Hell - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, Other, Slightly Older!Dipper, human!bill cipher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 01:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4503156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrozenDemon/pseuds/FrozenDemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to Hell/Gravity Falls crossover fanfiction because why the fuck not??? Why??? Thefucknot??????</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome to Hell.. Gravity falls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [charliesundies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/charliesundies/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Welcome to Hell](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/134835) by Erica Wester. 



> I blame Luggaa entirely for this sin.

A hungry Dipper Pines ventured over to the fridge, about to get the ingredients to his favourite sandwich. He huffed, opening the door only to be greeted by a demon smiling out at him.

“Hey, Pine Tree! See something you like?” Bill quipped, pointing at himself. His eyebrows wiggled a bit. Dipper promptly slammed the door shut, walking out of the kitchen.

“I think I lost my appetite,” the human grumbled, not really caring as the demon phased through a wall to follow him. “Why are you still here?” His question was met with a stupidly haughty snort.

“I think the more appropriate question is, why are you still here?” responded the demon, pointing his nose up in the air as if he had something to brag about.

“Uhhh because you suck at your job?” Dipper retorted, stopping and looking back at Bill. It was almost fun to see him at a loss for words.

“I… I suck at my job?” He sputtered. “Pine Tree? Do- do you really think I suck at my job?” He adjusted his top hat, looking away.  

This was the worst day yet.

  
  
  


**Okay now, let’s go back a bit- before the main events- shall we?**

  
  


A young man dug a hole- the third one since he began. Even though it was in the middle- this was kind of a last minute thing. He dug down deep, glancing it to check that it was enough. Feeling that it was sufficient, he scooted back, picking up a long, heavy object. With arms, and legs, and a bag over it’s head. The body of his mother. He struggled a bit, but managed to toss her into the hole, starting to cover her up.

**This is Bill. He just killed his parents- in his sleep.**

 

The boy sat down a few feet away from the hole, hugging his legs.

 

**Now… most people would be a little shaken. You know, after having just sleep-murdered their parents. But Bill? Bill was not most people. See, Bill has been struggling with he overwhelming desire to kill- torture- maim- ahem- kill- all of his life. You could say he had some “mildly” homicidal tendencies. No.. what made Bill so uneasy?**

**What he’d have to do next.**

 

Back to Bill, he sat up a little, glancing down at the knife.

“Well, old friend…” He stood. “Never thought I’d find myself at your business end.

He looked around, frowning. “Hmm.. last words? Eulogy?” The boy questioned as he swung the knife about. “Ahh.. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. Not like anybody is listening or watching me right now.”

 

**I was watching the whole thing. Sorry to interrupt, had to say that.**

 

Raising the knife, Bill took a deep breath before stabbing himself in the chest, falling back into the hole he’d dug himself, bleeding out.

**Okay, this is where I come in! Bye! -Or hi?**

  
  


The air was cold, and everything was dark. The newly dead boy felt kind of peaceful. He could totally just sle-

“Welcome to Hell!” A voice broke the reverie, causing Bill’s eyes to snap open. “Would you like a hand?” A devilishly handsome man smiled down at him, extending an arm. It’d be rude not to accept the kind offer. The boy took his hand, kind of surprised as he was jerked up into a brightly lit.. office… room.

He blinked a few times. Hell was.. an office. Alright. The flame haired guy that had greeted him let go of his hand.

“This! Is my office,” the man said proudly. “Have a seat.”

Bill did so, staring up at the huge file cabinet. Weird.

“Do you know why you’re here, Mr. Cipher?” asked the man, grinning.

“Uhh..” Bill hesitated. “Because I.. killed my parents…kill myself..”

“Ahhh, well. I’d kill my parents too if they were such doormats,” the man replied, still with his grin.

“...Where’s all the brimstone and fire?” The boy was less smiley, and he swung his hands about. “Why am I not being tortured as we speak, suffering for all eternity!”

The man snorted. “Hey, don’t sound so desperate!” He walked over to the single door. “See, I’m currently having hell renovated! The only one suffering..” The smile was gone. “Is me…” He opened the blinds, waving Bill over. “Would you look at this place? It’s a fricking mess!”

Bill came over and looked into the glow of the green hellscape. Beside him, the man was a lot less composed than before.

“The fake psychics and the lawyers are in the middle of what looks like a turf war, the murderers have been hanging out with the kids show writers- that simply can’t be a good influence on them.”

“The murderers or the writers?” Bill questioned to the obvious chagrin of the man.

“Eiitherhurhurrrrrr,” he sobbed, grabbing Bill’s shoulders. The boy awkwardly patted his back.

“So.. what’s gonna happen?” The question was a frightening one to ask. He was startled as the man again took his shoulders, spinning him about.

“I’m gonna make you an offer!”

“Oh!” Bill smiled. “You mean like a deal with the-”

“I mean like a job offer. Ohh, come off it, Cipher, I already have your soul. You think I’m gonna challenge you? I’d win.” He put his arm about Bill, making the boy walk with him. “Anyways, the truth is, kiddo, you remind me of myself.”

“Yourself?” The dead boy was amazed. “But you’re-”

Cutting Bill off again, the man smiled a bit nervously. “Alex Hirsch. Call me Alex..” Smirking, Bill raised an eyebrow.

“..Okay, well, so long as we’re going to be all friendly, you can call me Bill!”

“Alright, Mr. Cipher,” Alex replied, too nicely. “I’ll call you Bill.”

The two went back over to the desk and filing cabinet, where Bill sat and Alex opened up a file drawer.

“”Okay let me pull up your file.” He rummaged around as Bill looked about the desk. “You know, you’d think on a separate plane of existence we’d have something better than a filing cabinet.. buut.. you’d be wrong.. Soo..” Alex looked at the bored kid. “How did you get into the whole killing people thing?”

“Well. It’s kind of personal?” He wrung his hands.

“I won’t tell a soul!”

“I mean, it’s a long story..”

Alex flung out the seemingly infinite drawer and floated upside down. “Oh I’ve got an eternity!”

Bill grimaced. “Do you ever plan to stop replying with clever puns??”

“When this place freezes over,” the man chirped. “Ah! Found it!” He floated upright and down to sit in his chair. Upon snapping his fingers the drawer rushed back in, slamming itself shut. “Now, Bill. This demon position I’m gonna offer you is kiiind of a big deal. You will be assigned to a human counterpart. It is your job to haunt-” Oh that got Bill’s attention. “Torment.” Bill was getting excited. “Pester.” That wasn’t so fun, Bill frowned. “And be a general nuisance until he.. you know. Punches his own ticket.” Bill was bouncing up and down. “We may be under construction but we still have a quota to-”

“You mean I get to kill people?” The boy inquired excitedly, jumping from his seat. Alex smiled nervously.

“Not exactly.. you get to help people kill themselves.” It was a relief when Bill got out of his face.

“Hmm.. and if I decline your offer?” Both the guys had smug grins.

“You won’t,” Alex assured the boy.

“Ha- well!” He shrugged. “Can’t argue with that!”

The man nodded and pushed the file towards Bill. “Your first assignment is in there. You work five days a week, 9 to 5, AND you get weekends off.. she only gives Sundays off. And I’m the bad guy? She doesn’t even offer dental” He kept complaining as Bill looked warily at the scruffy boy pictured in the file.

  
**Seriously why am I the bad guy.**


End file.
